Excuse me while I whip this out:
How you know you live in Japan:
“Chunky” and “smooth” are not choices for peanut butter, but
options for red bean paste.
You carry an extra bag on all of your trips, because you’re
going ot have four boxes of omiyage for
your coworkers and neighbors.
Every ramen restaurant has the potential to be the next
GREAT ramen restaurant. And even if it isn’t the next GREAT one, it will by no
means be anything less than good.
You are fully aware that if you can’t open a package with
ease, it is due to user error.
You eat convenience store food on a regular basis, insist
it’s relatively healthy, and can rank the major chains in order of the
appetizingness of their menus.
How you know you live in RURAL Japan:
You appreciate the Gaijin barrier between you and the other
commuters on the local train during rush-hour.
Riding your bicycle fifteen kilometers one way for an onsen
and lunch trip? Challenge accepted.
You go to the next town (at least) to purchase alcohol,
which you then hide at the bottom of the grocery bag or in your backpack for
the trip home. You would never consider buying cigarettes, condoms, tampons, or
any other personal and/or potentially hazardous product while you are on your
home island, on the very probable chance that someone will see you, recognize
you, look in your bag, and tell their mom, dad, sister, brother, neighbors, and
dog about your purchases.
The word “gutter” no longer brings to mind gentle sloping
divots in the concrete that end in a grate where the dog’s tennis ball is
occasionally and unfortunately wedged. It now conjors up images of giant
trenches, deep and wide enough to house a French platoon in WW1 and pouring out
rice-paddy drainage at every corner.
You are invited to parties, events, clubs, and private
family dinners – and *gasp* they expect you to show up.
More travel journal later.
1 comment:
Nice Blazing Saddles reference.
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