What the F-Amily, Tano?

Seriously. You thought your family was messed up.

Last week was very emotional. My 6th graders were so abominably rude to the teachers and each other (in front of the PRINCIPAL) that I felt overwhelmed with responsibility guilt. Even though I know it isn't my fault, I suddenly felt like I should have done better reigning-in their naughty asses. I turned to apologize to Kocho-sensei, and as I said, "I'm so sorry, I really did do my best," I started to cry. Principal was alarmed and apologized to me and said, "no no, I'm the one who's sorry. You did your best." And tried to hug me. Japanese people don't hug, so you can imagine what she must have thought of my distress.

Today was Monday and my JR High English teacher gave a little speech to the 3rd graders (read 9th graders for equivalent age group/maturity level) about bad students and her personal experiences with rude kids. She almost cried too! A couple of kids in the front row whispered, "Ganbare" (which means, hold your chin up, try hard not to cry), but I was very surprised at her emotion. This is not a common thing in Japan.

After class, we started talking about the kids. We went over a list of 6th graders and she started telling me about their families and about some of the other kids in JR High.

"Oh, Natsumi-chan, her brother goes here, but he has communication problem. And she is, um, very awkward, very coarse."

"Oh, Kenta-kun, yes, his mother died of cancer when he was in elementary school and his father became alcoholic. No job. Poverty. He has a younger sister."

"Yes, those boys mother and father divorced. No jobs. Everybody lives in one house. Poverty. That boy, just give up. He doesn't see any future. No dreams."

"Tatsu and Noru, their mother married two or three times. Maybe all different fathers for three boys."

"Taro-kun, his mother is his father's fourth wife. I think maybe things at home, not so good right now. His older brother also married twice, just recently. His second wife was my former student and he already has a baby from first marriage. I think the home life is very complicated."

No. Shit.

The list goes on, and these were only the ones she told me about. This is a small town. In JAPAN. A country that prides itself on family-centeredness and community connection. In a town with tons of money, so that they can afford two JETs. What's going on? Is something in the water? I asked JTE-sensei.

"I don't know what's going wrong. But it gets very hard to be a teacher here. Every day, I have to drive to this boy's house and wake him up for school. Parents have no control. They say, teachers must control children, but I don't think, I think it's too much. I wanted to be a teacher until I am retiring age, but now I think I can't do it."

I couldn't do it, that's for sure.