Week Whatever

Recently, I realized that if I only learn one grammar point a week, and I stay for only one hundred weeks (two years), I probably can master the most basic elements of Japanese grammar. Not everything and certainly not all the bloody vocabulary. Vocabulary seems insurmountable, at times, simply because it is infinite. I think of all the words I use in real life (not here where they are mostly unidentifiable as real worlds by the majority of my neighbors), many of them are not frequently utilized by many other English speakers, so the equivalent in Japanese would be rather silly. But I DO want to know the big words in Japanese. Even when they are all freaking long words. That`s what happens when you refuse to put consonants together. You get f-ing long words.

This grammar epiphany came to me this morning as I fixed a cup of tea in the office lunch room, a small room that resembles a closet with a sink. In fact, I believe that may be exactly what it is. But it also has a hot-water kettle, a coffee machine and a fridge. So things aren`t all austere and bare. I had been trying to get my head around a few difficult grammar concepts that I had review recently. This is my somewhat disorderly ordered process:

I look up a new grammar point in my handbook of Japanese Verbs (Taeko Kamiya) or the JET Programme Japanese Language Course.

I use it in an exercise or twelve on paper, slowly mouthing out the syllables so as not to annoy/distract any of my coworkers.

If it is a vocabulary point, I try to invent scenarios where I might employ it. If it is grammatical, I try to invent sentences or insert new verbs or vocabulary into the phrase as practice.

I hit up my Jr High conversation buddy (if I am at Jr High) during tea-time and try it out. It doesn`t matter what context it is. I throw it in there any old which-a-way and she laughs hard and says, "chigaimasu!" or sometimes "tadashi, kedo..." (the first meaning "wrong!" the second meaning "correct, but what are you talking about?"). If I`m headed to 小学校 for the day, I randomly employ it in conversation with my fifth graders, during a friendly game of War or over the lunch time table when I am busy teaching them the fine points of English conversation like, "when you punch someone to the floor, you yell `T.K.O!`" They love that one. That and "a little bit", especially when I say it as quickly as possible. They turn to each other and say, "alittrebitgross!" with all they`ve got. It`s hilarious. If I get my grammar point wrong, they just look at me like I`m nuts, or politely ignore it. If I get it right, they just keep going with the conversation because randomness fits when you`re ten.

Thankfully, tonight I am off to Matsuyama where I don`t have to speak much Japanese because I`m meeting up with other Eigo-hanasu-ers and we are headed to Beppu. One of our english speakers is asian, and all the Japanese people speak to her, even when it`s obvious that the only one who speaks passable Japanese is our through-and-through British chick. Stereotypes are awesome.

And then it`s one more week before I head home to crash on the couch with a cup of tea and my puppy, jet-lagged out of my mind, watching Top Gear with my fam and talking all the way through it to the annoyance of strangers and peers. Yay!